wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
