just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
