in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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