so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just had sex on a roof
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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