I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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