You can't motorboat a personality
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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