I am puke
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
