he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
