Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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