i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
