Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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