I am in a vortex of obligation.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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