a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
