I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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