yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
