be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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