we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize