That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
