i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
