It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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