I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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