I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
