He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
