i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
