Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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