Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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