I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
