Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
