Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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