i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
