you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
