It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
