Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
