We're facebook friends in real life
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Can Purell be used as lube?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
third nipple confirmed
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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