Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
