You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
