we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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