your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
