How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
