After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
