I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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