Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
