You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
