sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
