$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize