Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
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