he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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