I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
