yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
