I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize