I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
