Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
