Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
