Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
