Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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