I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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