census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
How external is "for external use only"?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
