WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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