just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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