I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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