Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
